Jun 23, 2008

Sex Education. The easy method of teaching

I'm back!!! Hehe In a better mood of course. Though I don't really like Monday, at least I'm feeling much better than last Saturday. I really wanna thank you (Lab Papa, Chegu carol, Poppet, Nick Phillip, Nyumix, kobie, niniejane, wel, andrik, oiga) for the sweet message cheering me up. Appreciate it very much. By the way, somebody has spammed my blog..!!! Well, It is spamming in a good way lah. Hehe Thanx to Papajoneh for the load of comments..I was smiling like idiot when I saw my inbox full with Papajoneh name..
When I read my Lazy Mode post, I'm laughing myself seeing how 'ngox' I was that day. I guess I was very tired and that's why I sound 'ngox' too. I had a sleepless night that day, my daughter wasn't sleeping really well. She kept waking me up asking me to hug her and scratch her itchy leg. I only managed to sleep around 4.30am, so you can imagine my crankiness last saturday. Thank God, my son is getting better now, but daughter not getting any better. She is soooooooooo clingy she wanted me to carry her around all the time. *sigh* If ringan nevermind lah, more than 10kg how to carry??
Anyway, I was in dilemma yesterday, so another opinion needed here. My son (4 years old) never failed to put me in the most awkward position as a mother and as an adult. The dilemma started this way..
My helper was about to bathe my daughter when son asked the most killer question (SPM question is much...much easier to answer than this).
Son : MOMMY!!!! What do you call this (Point to daughter's nip*le)
Mommy : Erk!! Emm..the one is called nip*le..
Son : No lah! The one is called susu..
Mommy : Yes..but it also call nip*le.
Son : Inesha also have one..Isaac also have one..
Mommy : Yes..(Hoping he won't ask any further question)
Son : So Inesha also have milk?
Mommy : No lah! Inesha and Isaac have no milk..the one is for the 'Mommy' only..
Son : Isaac 'susu' will get big like a girl or not?
Mommy : *BANGGED MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL* Erkk..no lah..Isaac is boy lah..
Son : Girl only will have big 'susu'???
Mommy : Ok!! Ok!!! Time to 'mandi'..next time ask daddy about that..
Son : But...
Mommy : Go...go..mandi now!!
The truth is, I don't know what to tell him. He always asked me question beyond my capability to answer him. If you still remember one of my earliest post about son asking why Boy has 'bird-bird' and girl doesn't, I'm thinking the recent conversation we had was sooooooo much difficult than the 'bird-bird' question. Son sometimes put me in a really difficult position that he makes me guilty for not answering his question, but also make me 'blank' on what answer I should give him.
There was one time, I brought my son to watch daddy playing badminton when he saw our company QS lighting up his ciggarette. Being an outspoken kid he is, he asked my collegue in the most bossy tone.
Son : Uiiii!! Uncle, why you smoke one??
QS : I'm adult already mah.
Son : Cannot, you will damaged your lungs (I almost fainted when son told our QS that). Smoking is very bad.
QS : (Red Faced and angry tone) I haven't light up yet mah!
Son : Smoking will burn your lung, you know..(Me straight away dragged him away from the angry QS).
Haha!! I know what my son told the QS was sooooooooo true. But, I can see my collegue was already angry that time. Do you think big grown man like him like to be told about his bad smoking habit by a 4 years old boy? So, I dragged my son out as I don't want my son to be lashed out by the QS because he won't understand it. I cannot tell him what he did was wrong, because he didn't say anything wrong at all.
You probably will tell me to explain things to my son in a simple and undestandable way, but if you ever meet my son, you will know it won't be easy. My son is the type who will ask question from A-Z, 1-10, and if he is not satisfied with the answer, he will haunt you down for the answer. Example : How come baby can be in mommy's tummy? Where is the baby from?? Headache kan..? He will still ask the baby's question occasionally whenever his mood strikes him.
In the end, I should probably read more book to get ready being asked by son again, but do you think I will be able to answer every question he has in his mind?? *sigh* yeah..I don't think so too..So how lah???


Anonymous said...

my Josh same age as yours pun sama.. pengsan mau jawab.. until i said dont want to talk about it. If you keep asking again, i will not play command and conquer with you. No more computer. Trus dia diam bah.. hahahaha. itupun 80% sudah terjawab.

Whatever it is.. baguslah dia curious. Curious ppl always achieve better living in the future. Betul ni. so... relax.. enjoy saja soalan2 cepumas dari budak2 kita ni. hahaha.

Unknown said...

well if like this, i'd be better equip my self with all the wikipedia and a lot of parental guide then...si isaac tu..advance btul la..hahaha kasian mama dia..

KaDusMama said...

papajoneh ~ hahaha!! At least you can shut him up sekijap..bagus juga kan ada cara kasi diam..hehe command and conquer lagi tu..
iya bah..bagus juga our kids ni curious sikit..but..hahaa the parents yang setengah mati mau jawap..

urang ranau ~ iya!! bagus awal2 ko prepare..nda pasal2 ko pun blank macam sia nanti..hahaha

Nick Phillips said...

Hahaha ... now that's why I leave all the difficult stuff to wifey to answer :D Kids will always be inquisitive at that age though.

Glad you're feeling better today. And hope your daughter gets well soon too ...

KaDusMama said...

nick ~ haha!! Now, I'm throwing that 'stuffs' to hubby hoping he can gives son all the answer. His most effective answer is, "wait until you grown up, then daddy will explain to you". Duhh!! the next day, son will ask the same question again..
Yeah..hope daughter be alright soon..

Mia Evan said...

Hehehe... mmg tu. The other day I taught the children pasal nilai moral kasih sayang. Tiba2 kena tanya napa org mesti kawin, semua orang kawin mesti beranak kah, kalau tdk kawin boleh beranak kah, napa teacher blm beranak2 lagi alalala...

Kobie Vanessa said...

heheh funny o Isaac, and so pintar..susah juga mau jawab soalan budak2 ni kan?apa lagi benda yng dorg nda faham..kita pun ikut bingung hehe

Little Inbox said...

Your son is a very clever boy. You should proud of him. Smoking really burn ones lungs mah, hehe...Nobody will blame him cuz he is just a little boy. And yet, he's telling the facts.

Anonymous said...

Good evening, dropping by from 5xx Mom's site. I think I'm gonna subscribe to your blog. Good info on kid upbringing. Gonna start family soon, so any pointers from your site would be added info. Btw, I get the "Uncle, why you smoke?" question all the time, so now if I know that I'm gonna be around some kids, I just don't light up... not good for them la.

Anonymous said...

Well Kadus Mama, I think the way you answered your son is perfect... there's no other way to answer questions like that... you just have to give a half-answer;)

chegu carol said...

eventho i deal with kids and their weird questions everyday. but when it comes to questions like this...sa pun tia tau amacam mo handle. i mean of cos i'll explain properly but like u said, it can be complicated. the explanation part.

but ya...ur son is smart. baru 4yo sdh pndai tanya big question like that. he's very sensitive to his surrounding issues.

zewt said...

hahahahaha... the joy of watching yoru children grow....comes with the challenge of teaching them isnt it...

Ratu Syura said...

Hahaha.. this subject susah la mau tolong ko.. Coming from a non-parent myself, I don't think I can come up with an easier answer than what you have. But memang funny la ko crita pasal si Isaac.. Hahaha..

KaDusMama said...

m@urine ~ OMG!! Your students asked you that?? hahahahaa habis dunia mau jawap..

kobie ~ ko tau lah isaac tu..selalu membingungkan orang..

little inbox ~ Yeah I'm proud of him, but if you were in the situation where the QS raised his voice to my son...I need to protect my son tender feeling too..Wait until he is big enough to face this kind situation, I'll let him say whatever thing is right..

KaDusMama said...

gerald ~ Hi! thanx for dropping by in my blog. I hope my info will be useful to you.. :)
It is very thoughtful of you not to light up when there are kids around you..

arms ~ half answer won't be enough for my son. He will soon ask me the same question again. I can assure you on that..

chegu carol ~ Haha!! iya..budak nowaday nie memang different sikit..too advance for their age..soalan2 dorang tanya tu..kalah SPM kan..
My son tu telampau suka becakap bah..he can chit-chat with adult and he is an adult himself..hehe

KaDusMama said...

zewt ~ oh yeah! so agree with you on this..it is a joy to see them growing but it is never easy to teach them about life.. *sigh*

ratu syura ~ iya! i pun pening when it come to answer his question..soalan bonus bah that! hahaha But don't worry, you will experience the curious phase of your future kids one day.. ;)

Wel^Beiolman said...

mimang susa la ni kadusmama..inda mau kawin la ni..haha..no la....well I think one thing u need to bear in mind that..although they're kid..we shouldn't treat them a 100% kid..if you give wrong answer or metaphor..they going to remember and link that to other scenarios...they may get confused later on...

if you're a grown up person..when u ask question..if people think u can bear and understand..they would not hesitate to explain..but if they doesn't think you're capable of that..they might provide half-answer...incomplete answer.isn't it...we're almost similar to kids..

so I think if I were asked by my kids...be it sex or grown up stuff...I'm going to explain what they should know...the more we hide..the more curious they're...of course we can't tell everything..because kids are sincere..they would not know if those information is sensitive or not..i think parents should explain to their kids..which information is OK to say and which is not...

we know that it is not good to flood them with all these kind of stuffs but if you realise or remember..when we were a kid last time...we always wanted to know..in order to get the answer...many things pula jadi..its way more better for our kids to have the answers they're looking for from us instead from others..especially outsiders...you'll be more worry, aren't you...

but its true..although we take so many method to explain a simple thing like why a girl has boobs but not to a boy..its not always easy..I think i might use medical and scientific term to explain this...well..if we use religious..science..medic..all these explain..so I think the best bet is religious..

regards to smoking..this is really tough as you can not be at the uncle's side..nor on your side..be neutral might help kan..ahaha...perhaps telling the differences in adult and kids...be careful though coz they might think...once they're grown up..they can do the same...susah eh..aha..from your son's response it sounded like he knew the danger of smoking..well done kadusmama...the mistake I guess was the QS...QA should not replied "am an adult"..it gives a wrong impression of being an adult...and logically thats why your son didn't satisfy with the answer given..his parents also adult but kadusmama+hubby does not smoke...more question kan..ahaha...susa...I think reading how kids brain developed might help kadusmama...

more to learn and I agree that others saying your blog has become essential for parents..to share and learn new method or effective method...great kadusmama..thanks for sharing this..

KaDusMama said...

wel^beiolman ~ wah!! terkezut sia tingu comment ko..ekekee bulih sia kasi jadi satu post sudah..bah thanx anyway..telampau lah bah juga tia mau kawin..ekekee
You answer almost the same like hubby, he said just tell son, everything is what given by God..adoi!! of course i can say that, but what if son ask about God..which he still doesn't understand...mau pelan2 juga bah nie..one step at a time..kalau sia rush explain suma satu kali, he wont understand it and will ask the same until he understand about it.
Pasal tu smoking..iya memang tu..he still confused napa adult bulih smoking..balik2 son tanya napa my BIL smoking, sia pun nda tau apa mau kestau..like you say, he questioned me why his uncle can smoke eventhough it is not good for his health..adei! pening juga kadang2..

Wel^Beiolman said...

iya o kan..so so panjang my comment..good la tu.haha..wahaha..tell them about god?..no body can really explain everything about god..not even the highest priest ever exist..i'd prefer to share my thought not teaching so thats y..perhaps i never thought of becoming a teacher..hehe..given the big question like that might actually help u to be more mature and thoughtful..isn't that true and amazing..to make sure you're competent enough to answer and explain your kids..you'll need to learn or re-learn many more things in your life...you can't just simply say that n this to them purposely to make them stop asking kan..hehe..your found your hubby..he makes you happy and became part of you..but your kids complete you pula..haha..

joking ba that kadusmama..who knows ada juduh kawin la..but after jadi millionaire la.haha..