Jun 18, 2008

My friend's Maid gave me a nightmare..

I just booked my helper's air ticket to go back next month, and now I'm so worry sick thinking the month ahead of me. I'm still angry with her as I cannot accept the reason of her going back because of the bf. If she tell me that she already tired working with a boss like me, I don't blame her. Maybe she felt I tortured her or abused her (which I don't!!!! hahaha). But a reason of bf asking her to go back is just toooo lame. When my sister talk to her the other day, she did say she wanted to work with me, but she is scared with her bf. Duh!!!! Malas already I want to layan! hehe So it confirmed she will go back end of next month and left me 'terkapai-kapai' here.
That day, Deana-e asked me about my friend's previous maid who gave me nightmare ever since the incident happend to her. The soooooooooo unfortunate event happend last year when my friend just started working after sooooo long 'holiday'. She has 2 kids; 2 1/2 years old boy and 11 months girl (at the time of incident). So after having trouble with few sabahan helpers (all wanted to go back after short time working with her), she resorts taking an Indon maid to take care of her kids. The first month the maid with her, nothing weird or unusual about the maid. She was doing her job and care her kids properly. In the second month, maid's behaviour started to change, she started to talk back to my friend whenever she was told what to do and what not to do. But my friend still can tolerate her behaviour and didn't complain much about it. The maid, Yanti became very quiet in the following month. Weirdly, my friend's kids always showing the sign of hungriness whenever my friend was back from work. But she thought, they were just hungry. She fed them as usual la. She never suspected anything amiss with her maid.
In the forth month, her nightmare begun. She caught the maid using the house phone for quite long duration, and noticed that somebody has been smoking inside her house (she and husband are not smoker). She did confronted the maid about it, but she deny everything. So my friend thought she was just too paranoid about her. Until one day, she came back home after work and found out her maid already 'tapau' her things and went off, leaving her kids all alone the whole day. B*tch kan the maid?? Luckily the son didn't wandered out from the house and the daughter was inside her playpan. The son was sound asleep on the floor (my friend told me he was drugged to sleep) and very...very pity, the daughter was crying inside the cot with no voice. She had been crying for the whole day until she lost her voice. Can you imagine my friend's feeling that day?? Even I was sooooooooooooo pissed off and super angry with the stupid maid. How could she do that to the small kids???? But it didn't stop there..there were other despicable mess she created. My friend's husband was sooooo angry with the maid, he hired a private investigator to track down the stupid maid. Serve the maid right, she got caught after 1 month running away from friend. Many things was revealed and I'm sure you will curse the maid to hell for eternity for the thing she had done.
  • She robbed my friend clean. All her jewellery, handphone, money (which was quite a lots) and even her undergarments...Almost everything was taken..except the LCD Tv or big thing..
  • She brought her 'bf' to the house and F**ked infront of my friend's kids. Mind you, its not only 1 time but few times! *cursed her to hell*
  • She beat and punched my friend's son on the stomach for few times.
  • She smoked inside the house.
  • She didn't feed the kids when my friend went out to work.

There were other things she had done..but forgot liao! Only can remember the major one. So can you imagine how me and my friend was traumatised because of her?? Until now, I don't dare to take the risk of hiring Indon maid as I'm scared the same thing might happen to me * TOUCHWOOD*. That's why I want a sabahan helper. At least, if anything happend, I still can find her family in Sabah. My helper now is not to say 100% perfect, sometimes she spent her time watching TV, smsing with the bf and didn't clean my house properly..hehe but I don't really mind that as I only want her to look after my kids. So far, my kids are well in her care.

Now, I have to think the options on what I'm going to do after she goes back next month. I have few options actually and I'm not sure what am I going to do :

  1. Resign from work and become fulltime housewife (Which I'm not ready yet)
  2. Send my daughter to nursery while son is being cared my MIL at home. (I cannot depends on my MIL to take care my daughter because she is not feeling well herself. She has Lupus)
  3. Send my daughter back to Sabah for few months and let my parents look after her (I don't think I can do this. Even with the thought of not seeing my daughter for few months make me want to cry already)
  4. Hired another maid. (Not sure where to find)

So how lah?? What do you think I should do now??? I need to think all this now because I don't want to be last minute making any decision. *sigh*

25 comments:

@dR3h said...

OMG!! punya horror your friend punya maid tu!! Memang patut la her husband hired a PI tu tangkap her.. heii.. I hope your friend send the bi*ch to jail! by the way, memang la maid yang better if you dapat. hopefully you'll get one soon but in the mean time why don't you look for a day care? just a suggestion..

urang ranau said...

hope ur friend x-maid rot in hell. as for ur prob, kadus mama bagus ko ambil maid baru, minta tulung la family ko cari2 di kampung2 mesti ada tuh, dulu pembantu kami pun dr paginatan, ranau (di insuk2 suda tu)..ni sy suggest sija la, cari ja maid baru.

Kadus_Mama said...

@dr3h ~ Iya!! Horror sekali kan..i was horrified masa 1st i knew about it. Saiko punya maid.
Will discuss with hubby on what to do ni..hopefully we will find our solution soon..

urang ranau ~ memang!! hope she rot in hell for what she has done..kurang hasam sungguh!
Sia mau juga cari..but nda tau mana mau cari..ko ada idea?? or ko ada contact?

Ornest said...

Sa setuju sm suggestion @dr3h sm Urang Ranau.. While waiting for a new amah from Sabah, hantar day care dulu tu anak2 ko. Masalah local amah ni kan, selalu homesickbah. Sekejap2 mau balik kampung.. Tu pasal dorang ndak tahan kerja sm org.

Ehem Urang ranau.. sia pun mau cari yg local punya maid.. kestau ah klu ada hehehe.. Sori ah Kadus Mama, tumpang sekaki cari maid. Ok bah klu sa kan? :D

Kadus_Mama said...

ornest ~ tingu lah apa macam nie..sia kesian pulak my daughter kalau kena hantar p day care..but mana mau cari amah nie ah?? harap2 ada yang mau part time kah keja jadi helper nie..1 tahun pun nda apa!!

Poppet said...

aiyooo.. gila ooo experience with ur fren's amah. I really PTL I have a good and reliable amah, altough she is not prefect but she is loyal, responsible and dedicated. My amah is indon too. She is from Adonara ( some ppl said amah from adonara are good). My amah has been with us since b4 I gave birthed to my eldest doter, until now, my eldest is already 6 years old. Even tat she never go back to indon, only takes one day leave per month. She prefers to stay at home than go out.Everybody in the family including my-in-laws consider her as family sudah. So not all indon amah are bad.

Little Inbox said...

My advice: Never leave the maid with the kids. At least must have somebody to supervise her, if not, really can't stop imagine what will happend.

Choc Mint Girl said...

Aiyo! Memang nightmare la if dapat maid macam ex-maid kawan ko tu! Sial betul!! Susah bah mo trust, tidak kira dari mana asal itu maid, but if 1 kg. and sudah kanal2itu family ada senang sikit tu hati kan. Ko ingat maid kami tu si B***, paling best kan. Tapi dia balik kg. sudah.

I agree sama suggestion yg lain2, antar pigi day care centre. Kasian si Inesha nanti kana antar pigi M*******g...

elaine said...

My goodness, that's a horrific experience your friend had to go through! That maid, the nerves she had of bringing in the bf and doing it in front of the kids. My goodness. And not feeding the children, that's inhumane! Bloody b****. Omg. Anyway glad that that has been taken care of. And as for your condition, no mothers would be able to be away from their children,so do u :) Day care would probably be the best option you have right now till you get yourself a new maid. :)

Liang Mui said...

dangerous..

my hubby's cousin even nearly kena jampi from her ex-maid. luckily the jampi is not strong enuff to disturb her.

phew~~~

Lab papa said...

Your story gave me goosebumps.

I pray for you and your family only the best.

Kadus_Mama said...

poppet ~ Nah!! Thank God your maid is ok! If only I can get like you..
But..of course not all Indon Maid is bad..

little inbox ~ ermmm..I do leave my kids with my current helper..

choc mint girl ~ Iya!! Ingat sama si B**H..bagus betul dia kan..sayang dia balik kampung sudah..
If no choice sudah, maybe will hantar my daughter p day care..tingu macam mana dulu..

Elaine ~ Thanx for dropping by in my blog..yes! that bloody maid is crazy indeed..
will decide what i'm going to do soon.. :(

liang mui ~ OMG!!! JAMPI???? Thank God nothing happend huh??

yanti said...

ty,

baca my post today regarding house maid. maybe can give you slightest idea. it is just my opinion.

Kadus_Mama said...

yanti ~ Eh, I'm just from you blog before i see your comment.. :)

Ratu Syura said...

Astagaa!! Apa punya maid la giitu tuuuu.. gilak sudah!! Ishh! Tapi memang getting a maid is a risk you have to take la. I heard so many horror stories about maids from a family friend of ours who is a lawyer. Aiyah, if i tell you ahhh.. lagi la you phobia. Susah bah mau trust orang nowadays. Palan2 saja la ko aahh..

Nick Phillips said...

Wow, that is quite a horror story. I don't have a maid, both wifey and me are the 'maids' at home to the two boys (LOL) but I must say that it's really hard to trust a stranger with your kids. On the outside they could be nice people but once you're not around, they could be maniacs la ...

I sincerely do hope you find a solution to your maid problem soon :D

Kadus_Mama said...

ratu syura ~ Iya bah!! gilak betul kan..Nanti malam nie mau discuss lagi macam mana nie..

Nick ~ Yeah, it was a horror story. Eventhough it wasn't my maid, but still I was traumatized by the crazy doing.
Hehe..if no solution at all, i might become the maid of my kids soon, just like you and wife.. hehehe

urang ranau said...

kadus mama siap un nda da idea sdh, sbb berapa thn sudah inda masuk tu kampung cr mintamong. sorry can't help much, but i'll ask my mum though..

chegu carol said...

can't help u much on that part TT. tau lah skrg ni, susah jg mo dpt local yg mo kerja jadi house helper. hope something good will arrive at ur doorstep soon.

Crazyfinger said...

sorry to hear about the maid things..

if I were you...i'll try to discuss and deal with my employer..worst..stop working..thats d thing u should be prepared when u get married..

leaving your child at someone's care..alwys risky..leaving them at any day care..they'd be happy but would u know what's going to happen and could happen..i'd prefered to ask somebody who i know to take k of them..relatives is alwys d best answers...though some relatives were worst than maids..

discuss with hubby..its not u alone to decide..ur hubby approval is a major one..if he agreed and u think that suits u, him and child future..u have to go for it.remember..its not about what u want for u anymore..what best for u..but whats best for ur child....

If I were married..and both me also wife is working...I might do as above...if she doesn't prefer to take her responsibility I'd go for it if thats d best I could offer for the new generation and my child welfare...work less hours sounds good...its my decision and agreed by her..so what people say does not matter at all...in case financially stable la..if not have to ask her to do her responsibility..child need mother love ba..

Shemah said...

Crazyfinger, Memang nothing beats you sendiri jaga but then when things are financially difficult, what are you to do? When you decide to stay at home tapi it will cause them to not be able to get their basic necessities, like milk, diapers and what not.. macam mana jugak kan?

Alot of parents HAVE to work bah nowadays.. it's not a choice anymore. living expenses are not cheap. If you want to cut down on your hours at work how are you supposed to do that when the only choice is work or quit. Boss pun ada anak jugak, dia pun ndak dapat pulang awal..

ty, The only thing is that you need to find someone you trust to take care of the kids (as you well know).. which of course is not easy. So that part you have to decide by exhausting all angles and see what's best. But coming from a SAHM, it doesn't make u less of a mother just because you're working. It actually makes you a better mother because you sacrifice alot to provide for them and take care of them at the same time.

p/s: I just hope your friend's kids are not traumatized by the maid's behaviour. She should be shot and go down di bawah!!

Kadus_Mama said...

crazy finger ~ ermmm..not to offend you..it's not that i don't want to quit my job now..only not the time yet..once i'm ready, i don't feel anything wrong with it. And of course me and hubby discussed bout it. Not me solely make a decision here. Anyway..thanx for the advice..

Shemah ~ Ya!! I cannot agree with you more..I'm not saying my hubby cannot provide us family, but being able to lighten his burden make me feel better.
With our country current economy, and living in kl..everything is sooooo expensive. At least i'm contributing something to my family kan?
Now, I'm hoping my dad can help me to find a helper from sabah. Wish me luck..

Crazyfinger said...

aha..no worries kadusmama..sia belum kawin mana la sia tau ba..it was a thought which I think relatively logic...well..again..it all back to financial matters... at the end..thats y I don't want to get married too soon or to be tied up with relationship..I'm not a competent partner....am really not..I'll only get married when I know am capable not because am ready...ready could means financially, mentally etc..so many..so in my previous context..am not asking to stop working just right away..plan the resignation.im sure u does kan kadusmama...I love it when i know my partner willing to sacrifice to ease my burden..but I hate it to know that i let her do it because of me..I hate it when I know she has to endure all the hardship living in the modern world with me...of course we cant do everything alone...least I'd expect is to have her around me everyday supporting me...taking k of our child..loving me unconditionally and provide love to the family..

back to child thing...yup..looking for someone who u knew very well..would help u..and of course..nothing beats if sendiri jaga....thats y I willing to work hard and sacrifice more if I know that can make her and my child happy..blaming the financial status is not wrong but it should have been expected..logically..financial excuse is pointless....we've lived long enough to know the need of money and better living...we once lived hard enough and promised not to live the same way again..is it our responsibility that burdens us....or modernization is making our life harder?..will the prices go cheaper when we reach 2020?..are we expecting by 2010 the price of a diaper is only 50cent?price of 1 liter powder milk is rm10?

I understood your situation although am not a mom or a female...I just don't see a reason why you need to hire a maid..it help you in one way around..that is overcome the financial issue..really?r u sure? u hire a maid..pay a maid...is that correct? taking k d welfare of the maid...i wonder la..correct me if am wrong...byk ba mau belajar ni dari ko kadusmama..and others as well...

papajoneh said...

Hmm... kesian juga dengar semua ni. Hope the children been taken care of. We ourselves dont have maid. I simply dont trust them. Wife send my kids to her auntie.. who I checked inside out her background.

Just do whatever necessary. I know its easy said than done.. but children well being is the priority here. Im sure u know what to do kan.
Jgn sampai tercari org gila yg mcm kawan kau punya tu. isk isk isk dunia sekarang, macam2.

Kadus_Mama said...

papahjoneh ~ iya! thats why lah sia worry juga nie..hmmmm masih lagi bepikir pasal solution nie,
memang scary kalau dapat maid macam the saiko maid my friend got..