Hectic day + very sad day..

I woke up quite early this morning as starting from today, i have no more helper in my house. Yeah..my helper @ my maid is back to Sabah today. *sigh*

I know i will have a hectic day starting from today. Waking up early in the morning, preparing myself and son to school, then off to work then back from work. After a long discussion with hubby, we have agree to send son to day center after he finish his school. For the time being, daughter will be staying with my MIL at home. This arrangement will be our temporary solution until we can find a replacement for our helper now.

Son will start going to the day centre this friday. If only you can understand how sad I am now. Son probably can make the adjustment of his new environment in a very short period but daughter?? *teary eyes* When I walked out from home this morning, daughter was crying and keep calling me, "Mommy!! Mommy!! Cicah want to follow". Kesiannya!!!

My MIL called me shortly after I reached office saying my daughter wanted to talk to me. *sad* :

Me : Hello cicah (Inesha).. Daughter : Mommy!!!! Me : What cicah doing?? Daughter : Cicah watch Barney. Mommy??? Me : Yes! Mommy is here.. Daughter : Mommy?? Bye?? Me : Ok! Bye sayang!

I hung up my phone as quick as i can as I almost crying listening to daughter's sad voice. If i talk a minute longer with daughter, I'm sure i will cry and won't be able to stop. I'm not sure how she will take her days without 'kor-kor' with her at home.

Right now, I'm feeling so bad being my kids mother. Apa punya mother lah cannot take care own anak at home!! If only I have the guts to quit my job....

I'm stressed..again!

I don't know why..but this past few days (and including today) was very stressful for me..The fact that my maid want to go back next month make me even more stress than I'm already are. I did talk to her, asking for her to help me until October. She is ok with it, until she told me she has to ask her boyfriend first. I'm screaming inside me..FOR WHAT????? (She was supposed to work with me until Dec, but stupid bf told her to come back next month)

I asked her to let me talk a reason to the bf, (i'm still not sure why i have to ask from her bf) and this happend two nights ago. I'm telling you i'm soooooooo damn angry to the bf. I was asking and telling him my reasons in the most polite manner, and he gave me the most annoying and dumb answer. Here was our conversation.(Translated in english)

Me : Hello! Is this R**I's Bf??

Bf : Ya!

Me : I'm her boss. As your gf has explained to you, i will need her favour to help me until this coming Oct.

Bf : I don't think that is possible. I want her to be back next month.

Me : Why?

Bf : Because I haven't see her in few years (Liar!!! They last met in february)

Me : I thought you two already met in Feb??? And I don't think 2 months will be too much to ask. At least she can save some more money for her family and for herself.

Bf : I can give her money and for her family too (Stupid a$$!!! i only know he transfered some credits to her phone and definitely not money)

Me : (A little bit angry that time) It's not the matter of you can give her money or not, i only want to tell you i need her favour to help me until october.

Bf : "AUNTY", if you have heart, you will let her go back next month (Am i the monster here??)

Me : (Voice higher a bit) Why you have to tell her what she can do or not to do? You two aren't married yet right? I supposed you have no right to tell her what she can do in her life.

Bf : (petending not listening) I want her to come back next month. Thats it.

Me : (Blardy H**l!!!! punya i angry setengah mati that time). Ok! Since you are not her family yet, i don't think i should even ask for you permission to let her work with me until this oct. Her family should make the decision. Not you.

Bf : If you want to force us to accept what you say..i cannot do anything then!

line ..... Toot ............... Not he hung up lah, my maid's phone no credit! Of course I'm angry lah that time. What a lame excuse he gave me to for wanting my maid to go back. In case you are wondering, my maid is sabahan and she has been working for me since last year. I sent her back last december, and she came back again last Feb to help me to take care of my kids. She is supposed to work for me until end of this year and not next month. But the stupid bf told her to go back. Why I'm angry here, because my maid agree to help me but i will need her bf permission first. Heck! What for???? If only you know what i feel now.. *SIGH* Sakit jiwa already..

I just called my dad regarding this matter, and i hope he can do something to help me. If no help coming, i might need to become full time housewife, which scared the hell out me. I'M NOT READY TO BECOME HOUSEWIFE! If you think i should find an Indon maid, no thanx, I don't want to take the risk of her running away after 3 months working with me.

I'm already 'pening' thinking about this matter. There is more about my conversation with my maid's bf, but the more i recalled about it, the angrier i become now. And the annoying girl sitting next to me make me even more stress! Stress..stress...!!